Literary Works
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YHWH reclined languorously upon his throne, looking rather bored. The four six-winged creatures, and the 24 elders, lay on the floor, asleep. Some of them snored. A few of them snored very loudly. Gabriel stood by, like a sentry, awaiting YHWH’s pleasure. Mary, the new Queen of Heaven, knelt beside the throne, with a long list of requests that the faithful had asked her to pass along to YHWH. Several petitioners suffered from various diseases, and wanted Mary to ask YHWH to cure them. Many wished to improve their economic conditions. One woman, who lived alone in a trailer, desired divine assistance with her network marketing businesses that had been failing. Another wanted a Mercedes-Benz car and a color television. A major sporting event was just coming up, and some asked Mary to intercede with YHWH to cause one team win, while others wanted YHWH to give the victory to the other team. After all, if Mary could tell the servants at the wedding in Cana to do whatever Jesus bade them to do, and the result was turning water into the finest wine, then why couldn’t anyone ask Mary to intercede with YHWH to deliver any desired result? |
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The place was packed. More bodies continued to filter into the discotheque at Joe's Hotel in groups of five and six. The stale smell of cigarettes, Foster's Lager ((imported from Australia) and warm perspiration pervaded the atmosphere. One could only squeeze oneself through slender gaps in the crowd to make one's way to the pungently foul restrooms at the other side of the disco. Loud intermittent conversations, scattered yells, screams and occasional laughter were largely muffled by the dull, amplified noises produced by the rock and roll band. The brightly lit dance floor resembled a densely crowded stock yard, where the disinterested-looking couples twisted clumsily to and fro in a sluggish bovine fashion, scarcely taking any notice of each other in the tight cubical spaces which they had managed to appropriate to themselves. In one dank corner, a small band of flamboyantly‐garbed fakaleitī (men who flaunt female‐gender expression to an extravagant degree–traditionally regarded as a “third gender” in Polynesia) laughed and fluttered with contorted amusement at the sight of a vacant‐faced drunkard who had fallen from his chair in a Foster's‐induced stupor. Three large bouncers quickly and ungently escorted him from the scene. A singular palangi (White person) jaunted in among the amorphous sea of dark brown corpulence entering the discotheque. He glanced about with a scrutinizing expression, and then a wide grin swept across his face as he discovered a table of fellow palangi. “Hey Floyd!” was simultaneously and heartily emitted from someone in the group. |
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The topic of the sermon was the Second Judgment, which only Christian believers are to face. Non‐believers, including Catholics and most non‐evangelical Christians, will be consigned to eternal damnation at the First Judgment. A few Methodists or Presbyterians might slip through, if they truly believed in Jesus Christ as Savior. But, certainly no Episcopalians nor Adventists. In the Second Judgment, believers will be judged for their faithfulness in following Jesus Christ as Lord. Their works will determine what sorts of rewards they will receive in the hereafter. The preacher did not specify exactly what those rewards would be, nor how they would be divvied, but the faithful zestfully lapped it up anyway. Otto, like most other church members, dutifully gave the full tithe to the church, expecting to be glorified with a magnificent eternity as a result. However tenuous the few Biblical verses that back it up, the promise of extra goodies in the afterlife has proven to be a profitable motivator for many Evangelical preachers... When Patsy failed to express further interest in attending church, Otto became increasingly suspicious. He wondered whether she might be harboring some attitudes that might be characterized as “liberal”, or even non‐Christian. His church had taught him to be vigilant, as America, which had been uniquely blessed by God, was under constant siege by the evil and demonic forces of the anti‐Christ. |
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Hello. Welcome to “Mornings with Maria”, on Fox News, where we are not only fair and balanced, but we stand up for what's right! We give you REAL news, and REAL, HONEST opinion. This is Maria Bartiromo. Today, I have news that will absolutely make you sick with anger. You are going to be outraged! Let's jump right into it. Your favorite pretzels have gone “woke.”, That's right. Critical Race Theory can claim another victim. Get this. The Jordan Pretzel Company has announced that it is going to start offering unsalted pretzels! Those white crystals of salt are what give pretzels their superiority. Without the salt, you might just as well be snacking on Jewish bagels. The company is making claims that they are giving people more choices, and that there are some health claims that “too much salt” can lead to high blood pressure, hypertension, and maybe even a “stroke.” Isn't that a laugh? They might as well be giving everyone a free face mask, and a coupon for a COVID vaccination, with each box of pretzels that they sell. You've stopped buying Mars chocolates because we told you that their M&M candies are indoctrinating our youth to homosexuality. You've thrown out your kids' legos because we told you about their woke inclusivity– they actually started making legos characters that had yucky disabilities. Now, we have to stand up to woke pretzels. And here, to debunk the bogus health claims concerning salted pretzels, is Dr. Roger Marshall, the distinguished senator from Missouri. |
Braided Essays
Do you want to read some poetry? Well, Then...
